Deanna Beaver
 If you read last month’s blog, you found out that my daughter, Erica, aka Kitty, was getting married to our new son-in-love, Ben. Well, it happened. It was sweet, simple, and meaningful. Their union caused me to reflect on marriage and weddings. Where did the tradition of a wedding come from? Who made up the rules that the bride does this, and the groom does that?
I’ve been married for 37 years. My wedding day was one of the most special days in my life. I remember my wedding day and the friends and family that attended. I remember the new family I married into. I remember the relationships and the importance of asking certain people to attend—some we haven’t heard from in thirty-plus years—at the time, they were an integral part of our lives. I remember we were not limited to the number of people we could invite. I invited all of my teacher friends and sorority sisters, which was a lot, in addition to more friends and family. Joe had family and friends flying down from Western New York. The sacrifices people made for us were such a gift.
Today, cost determines the number count. I don’t expect to get an invitation to every wedding.
Now, there’s social media — Facebook, Instagram, and so on. You can share your nuptials with the world—and those who couldn’t attend.
I’ve attended numerous weddings in my lifetime. I’ve noticed several commonalities among various wedding scenarios. I recall many things about each one. Some were casual, some were formal, some had themes, some were dry, and others served liquor. There were rainy days, hot days, cold days, and buggy days. Some weddings included dancing at a reception, while others did not. Some had bridesmaids and groomsmen, and others had no attendants. Nowadays, you can choose from a certified officiate, such as a judge, rabbi, or minister, to officiate.
The one commonality I’ve noticed in all the weddings I have attended is the intense focus and love that the bride and groom have for each other. It’s their day. The planning, the guest, the food, the music, the check writing—take a back seat to the real reason for the wedding—joining two people who are in love together.
While not all marriages last forever due to unforeseen circumstances, on their wedding day, the couple is fully committed to signing a contract to join forces in unity, love, and devotion to one another.
Weddings are joyous occasions that reflect the bride and groom’s love and interests. I have enjoyed the uniqueness of each wedding I have attended.
I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences with marriage, or share a meaningful or hilarious wedding experience that you recall in the comments below. Cheers!
I’m so grateful for marriage! I love getting to grow together, and fall in love with the evolving versions of each other over the years. And I love that I now have a second amazing family! The best part is seeing Christ’s love for His Church played out in marriage – it’s a loving devotion that transcends circumstances and feelings, and that brings such a sense of peace and security.
Allyson, my lovely daughter-in-love, we are so happy that you are a part of our Beaver Family Lodge. I loved your analogy of Christ’s love for His Church and marriage. I concur that it is exciting to fall in love again with your spouse as you mature and expereince new things doing life together.
Congratulations on Erica getting married and you gaining a new son-in-law. I’m so happy for your family and I’m thrilled that you were able to share in that special event. Love you!
Cindy, thank you. We are excited. I was over the moon that we were able to make it. IYKYK
I have been blessed to attend the weddings of my family and many of my closest friends. I love that each wedding is imperfectly perfect! Cherished memories of doing last minute things from getting late grandparent to their seat, helping stage pictures, stepping in and directing a wedding come to my mind. I love family & friends coming together to celebrate the union.
Missy, I love your phrase, imperfectly perfect. That is the key. Each wedding needs a Girl Friday and you are an exceptionally dependable friend to come to the rescue! Thank you.
Deanna, your post brought many wedding memories to the surface. I enjoy watching the groom’s face as his lovely bride walks the aisle. I remember our son watching his bride which brought tears of joy to my eyes. Whether wedding plans are perfectly executed or include slip-ups, they are Joyous occasions. Congratulations to your family!
Jeanne, thank you. I agree that the moment the groom sees the bride walking down the aisle is one of my favorites. Before the first look became popular. Real moments that can’t be rehearsed are so special.
Well said, Deanna. I have always said that it’s their day, they should have the day they want. But I also say, the wedding has nothing to do with the marriage. I’ve been to elaborate weddings with hundreds of guests, spending $50K or more, and the couple didn’t make it a year and I know couples that went to the courthouse with only their witnesses and have been married for 40 years. What I’ve learned is that the wedding is the easy part. The hard part comes afterwards. A good marriage takes love, hard work, compromise, communication and dedication.
Kelly, I concur with your description of marriage- there is a lot of give and take in a marriage. It’s a consious effort on both partners.